To sum up the recession times...

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from  America .

Parents in  Beverly Hills  fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into  Mexico .

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in  Las Vegas  is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in  Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.